Bald Barber’s going to carve up your fantasies,
Bald Barber has you down for the chop.
He’s jealous of your haircut,
He wants your lovely locks.
Bald Barber is up to trimming your love,
Bald Barber is at your ear.
He’s covetous of your flowing dreams,
He needs to tie your feelings up.
Bald Barber is afraid of your stare.
Bald Barber is in your way.
He’s trampling on your curls.
He’s touching your mutton chop burns.
Bald Barber is seeking your waves,
Bald Barber isn’t keen on your looks.
He wants your hair in his eyes,
He’d love to comb it like you.
Bald Barber is fed up to the skin,
Bald Barber has his eye on you.
He aims to make a splash,
He’s going to cramp your style.
Bald Barber will nab your crown,
Bald Barber wants to scissor you up.
He’s dying to swim in your stream,
He’s after that long last parting.
Bald Barber is giving you the snip,
Bald Barber’s got a tip.
He’s found something for the weekend,
He’s cut you out of your will.
KEITH ARMSTRONG